Send a note to all available fans… Help!!! We need somebody.

I would have more to say, but with no apparent effective leadership, we’ve regressed to the old gumptionless Washington Bullets of the 80s and early 90s. I don’t want to blog about that disfunctional version of the Washington Basketball team. I want to blog about the wonderful wizards of winning.

Somebody get our bad knee, I’m leaving after the season anyway, superstar Gilbert “agent zero” Arenas to do something about this.

If he can’t, maybe he isn’t the supa star leader that we thought he was and maybe the Wiz is not the team that we thought it was. Holla if ya feel my pain. This hurts after two seasons of looking like a competitive upper tier NBA franchise.

Lets get back to it. Big guys — get big, get mean. Hot scorers, get our offense going. We need to see some 110 point nights ASAP. All-star coach Eddie George get em motivated or get them out of there. It seems like they are going through the transitional phase of incorporating a championship calibur defense, while trying to produce the same offense that made them so entertaining to watch…. I hope that’s what it is otherwise….

Okay… yeah a recap. We lost a close one to New Jersey with Gil going on his own with 15 seconds left and yielding nothing. Not entirely Gil’s fault. After that game he talked about an ailing knee, etc. But, he shoulda been talking about making a play for a good shot, by dishing an assist for the tie or win. Or he shoulda been talking about, why there were no perceived screens or set play for his big shot’s success. The following game we got wupped.., as Forrest Gump would say, “I don’ really wunna talk about thaat.” Followed by, “stupid is as stupid does.”

The End?

Go Wiz?!?!

The performance was ugly this past Saturday night. The Wizards lost to a team (Orland0) that they can and will beat handily in the future. However, there is a silver lining in this loss for the Wizards.

Brendan Heyward, the Wizards Center, played big and mean. The Wizards are a streak shooting team that shoot quite a few low percentage jumpers. We will have games where all three of our star players will be off… like they have been so far this season. So, I am not so suprised or discouraged by the first three games.

I am encouraged, however, because the Wizards’ big man Heyward, played big and mean. 10 points, 16 rebounds, and 5 blocks. This is great!!

Let’s break it down. The real reason Shaq, Alonzo.Ben Wallace and Mutombo are still valuable in their later years is because people think twice before going down low for a high percentage shot. They also know that they have to keep at least one body near that big, mean center to prevent offensive rebounds and easy offense.

Big mean, men allow Iverson to be an MVP, Kobe to be a past champion, and Duane Wade an All-Star.

Now our quick, gambling guards/forwards can play their style of offense and know that there Heywood is there to clean the glass. And if they pass it down low, he will funk it.

And if the game against the Magic was any indication, opposing players will think twice before challenging Heyward. Because he is big and mean.

There were no smiles from Heyward. No celebration. Just the strong presence that says I am the biggest, baddest, meanest motha on this court. You had damn well better know where I am at all times. That’s my ball. If we miss, that’s my ball. If you miss, that’s my ball, if you come down low that’s my ball. Oh yeah, and by the way I will dunk on you everytime I get an opportunity.

If Heyward can maintain this almost dominant presence, the Wizards might be able to do something they have rarely been able to do in recent seasons… win without scoring over 90 points. If not for a few great plays by Orlanda down the stretch the Wiz may have won… ugly, and big, and mean.

Go Heyward and Go Wiz!!

Report from the home opener.

In summary we’ll at least have a nice new taxpayer funded scoreboard to keep us amused in the event the Wizards continue playing this badly.

I suppose this would be the point where you mention that they’ve started slow in past seasons.
-Chris

Sometimes, when your star player is outspoken, you cheer it, because it shows emotion and perhaps leadership. However, when your star player’s talk does not inspire superior play in himself and teammates, you raise an eyebrow. Further, if the player’s comments inspire an already talented Boston Celtics team to kick your teams behind around the court, you tell him less blogging and more playing. Boston Celtics 103- Washington Wizards 83.

Gilbert “the not so silent assassin - Agent Zero Impact” Arenas guaranteed a victory against the newly revamped Boston Celtics. Rather than the Eastern Conference’s weakest link of last season that the Wizards were able to beat consistently, this mean green team (Boston) looked more like the incredible hulk of the Eastern conference. There is no other team in the conference that can match the versatility of their “big three.”

You have Ray Allen, pure outside shooter, Paul Pierce, a streak shooting slasher, and Kevin Garnett, a dominating inside force. All regulars in the NBA All-Star game. You wouldn’t like to see them when they are angry… unless you are a Boston fan.

That’s what we saw last night; an angry Celtics team with something to prove. A team that was under the gun to prove themselves. A team under scrutiny and pressure. I am sure that they were praying to the basketball gods for some idiot to relieve the pressure and take the focus off of them and rally their fans around them in support.

Enter Gilbert Arenas. After an ugly sloppy loss to the Indiana Pacers, the not-so-silent assassin Arenas, thought it would help his team to guarantee a victory against Boston. Can Gilbert shut-up… please. Leave the blogging to us. He not only gave an unsure Boston team a rallying point; He not only gave their fans a reason to provide a playoff type sixth man support of their team; he was quite proud of it.

Our star player was apparently happy that he helped the other team’s success. In an article in today’s Washington Post entitled aptly Garnett, Celtics Crush Wizards, Arenas said, “That was a great atmosphere tonight. They [Boston fans - Not Wizards fans] came and had a good time. And the end of the day, it’s entertainment and I’m an entertainer so I had fun with it. It’s been a long time since this building sounded [The other teams home court] like that.” (Those are my bracketed comments.)

Huh?! What?! Gil. Gil. Baby. Bubula. Your team got crushed. You had fun with it? You talked a boatload of trash and failed to back it up. The team that you lead is 0-2. You are an entertainer? Is losing entertaining? Is falling short entertaining? Is letting your team and fans down entertaining?

Arenas needs a check-up from the neck up.

Arenas. I love what you do for the Wizards. You are a very good basketball player. But, you are not an entertainer in the way you think. You are not getting paid to dance around at halftime. You are not singing the star spangled banner at the beginning of the game. You are paid to win games, make shots and play defense. YOU ARE NOT PAYED TO BLOG!!! You suck as a blogger. Your blogs have hurt your team — see Wizards team record and stats after pre-All-Star Game blog last season (Arenas questions Coach Jordan’s focus on Defense). Shut up.

You are great as a ball player. You are great as the guy who quietly proved to the NCAA and NBA that you are an All-Star, emphasis on quietly. You want to entertain somebody. Entertain us. Entertain the Wizards fans. You are PAID to lead your team to victory… now that’s entertainment.

You are a BALL PLAYER. PLAYER’S PLAY. SUPERSTAR PLAYER’S PLAY WELL IN BIG GAMES.

Guaranteed victories are reserved to championship calibur teams and all-star players that deliver under pressure. They are also usually reserved for big games and used as a tactic to motivate teams and their fans to excellent support of a common goal… VICTORY. See Joe Namath for a point of reference. However, its also a tactic of a losing team to attempt to motivate themselves out of mediocracy and garner some media coverage until they prove unable to back it up. See Notre Dame and currently a couple of the lowly Rams players.

In summary. We love Gilbert “Agent Zero” Arenas, the silent assassin, the all-star ball player. As for Gilbert “the not so silent assassin” Arenas, the blogger… not so much. Shut-up and play ball!!

Go Wiz!!

PS: In Gil’s defense. He probably isn’t even writing his blog. He should be too busy refining his craft. Its probably some well meaning, wanna be publicist getting paid off of Gilbert’s dime and has his ear and trust — fire him (probably a she), they are killing your public image.

I’ve got to say that all this talk about Wizards not making the playoffs seems pretty silly to me. I don’t think I’m a homer for saying that the Wizards are at least the 8th best team in Eastern Conference. I know Boston’s better this year, but seriously how much better could the Eastern conference be this year and how much worse a year could the Wizards be?

P.S.
The overtime loss to the Pacers sucked, but the shot to put the game into a overtime was pretty sweet.

-Chris

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